Sunday, April 22, 2012

Thoughtful

A few weeks ago, there was a book fair at the girls' school.  We always get a few things.  It's a good time to get some new books, gifts, and help add to the classroom libraries.  I like it, but it can get pricey.  It runs for about a week and a half and if the girls had it their way, they'd spend $30/day...each!  It adds up.  So, we talked about how much they could spend on the designated shopping days (every other day) and about how Grammie would be here during the book fair and would want to buy a book or two for them too.  

Around the middle of the week, Kate said she needed some book fair money.  She had not shopped much at all yet - if any.  I hadn't kept track as well as I should have.  I was busy that week and the initial lecture seemed to have worked.  I hadn't heard tons of begging, pleading, and "just one more book/eraser/pen".  Not much of that at all.  So, when she said she wanted to buy a few books that day, I thought, "fine".  I handed her some cash and she said no thank you, she was taking her own money.  All three of the kids have envelopes stashed away in the laundry room with cash from birthdays, holidays, etc. that they have received from grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.  It is available for them to use as they wish because it was a gift to them.  That's just how I feel about it.  And luckily, I've never really had a problem with them "blowing it".  I am always amazed at how they give purchases much more consideration when it's coming out of THAT stash as opposed to their dad's wallet or my purse!  Anyway - she took her money ($20) and headed off to school. 

After school, I was presented with this:    
She said she flipped through several cookbooks and thought this one was the best because the others seemed to have lots of dips and appetizers and she was trying to find something I could use for family meals.  She knows this is a weekly challenge for me.  Thoughtful. 



And Will was presented with this:

All things trains, cars, trucks...she knows what he likes!  She read it to him later that day.  .


And that's where her $20 went.  Didn't buy herself a thing. 

That same night, Claire surprised me when I was bathing Will and folded a big stack of laundry without being asked.  I'm not sure my little shopper could bring herself to purchase NOTHING for herself at the book fair...so she did what she could.  And she can fold clothes!    


Coincidence?  No.  Kindness begets kindness.  Thoughtfulness begets thoughtfulness.  They are watching each other.  They are watching me.  Big reminder!

My girls are sweet and have kind hearts, but this is not necessarily the norm for my household.  We are not sailing about every evening, opening doors for each other, saying please and thank you and always thinking of the other person.  Please!  Of course we are trying to teach this and lead by example, but reality and business set in and we are scrambling, bickering and carrying on and doing our best to make an 8:00 p.m. bedtime!  So, this made me think.  How quick are we to correct them when they are wrong?  How quick am I to constantly be on top of them regarding hanging up towels, taking dishes to the sink, getting homework done, and for goodness sakes...STOP all the bickering.  That's how it goes.   So, I thought - why not give the thoughtful and kind things they do equal attention.  Why is this so much harder to do or to remember to do?  I had thanked them both, but I decided to do exactly what I require of them when someone goes out of their way to show them kindness. 


  
Thank you notes.  Really simple, but they were so happy to get them at their seat at the table the next morning.  It made them realize how important those notes are to people on the receiving end. 

Kindness begets kindness.  How true.  Haven't had many days like this since.  We tend to get busy, tired, grouchy, short with each other (to put it nicely!).  But at least I know what we are all capable of and I like the chain reaction that occurred on this particular day.