Lesson for me

Those of you who know me and my husband at all, know that we differ where finances are concerned.  Most couples do to some degree.  He would like to bury it all in the backyard.  I would like to take all of it to Pottery Barn.  Good thing we have each other.  Okay, maybe better for me than Bill!  We have both revised our thinking since getting married 10 years ago.  It was not always easy, a pretty painful process.  One thing we have ongoing discussions (and yes, arguments) about since moving to our acreage in Skiatook is time management vs. financial management.  The load of chores immediately multiplied when we unpacked our stuff out here on the pasture!  I don't know why this came as such a surprise to me.  Not only do we have the normal house, yard work, kid's activities, car maintenance, etc.  We have a barn and 30 acres now, fences that need to be fixed, cows and horses to feed, brush hog work to do, a garden to maintain...the list goes on.  I am always suggesting we have someone at least mow and edge our "yard" so that we can focus on the pasture and barn area.  Or maybe let's have someone help put up shelving in our barn.  Let's hire someone...please.  Your time is valuable.  I'd rather just have more time to enjoy our place.  Dig deep in those pockets and CALL SOMEBODY! 

No.  I'm going to do it myself, he says.  He and I both know that the main reason for this is purely financial.  I get it.  This is a one income family with three kids headed to private school.  There is a limit to what we can do and we have to be responsible regarding our future.  But he always throws this out too: 

I want the kids to see US working hard, taking care of things, doing things ourselves.  It's a good lesson and shows them value in hard work.  It's what I want to show them.     

It sounds perfect.  It really does.  However, I usually roll the eyes and drop my case.  He wins and gets to put that money that I had only conceptually taken out, back in his pocket.  Honestly, what can I say after that?  Such a good lesson for them.  Very true.  But we don't have time for all of the things we need to do!  We have yet to get around to things that needed doing when we moved out here five years ago! I always chalked this up to another attempt at saving money.  I knew that what he was saying had merit, but I still just pulled out the tally sheet and marked another "1" for Bill and "0" for me. 

Until I read this.  I stumbled across this little book made by Claire this week.  I think I can say, tail between my legs, that the score is still Bill "1" and Courtney "0".  This is why I am thankful to be on his team.  Oh, I still think he needs to let someone else bury the trampoline in the backyard (my latest project), but this little book, all of Claire's own doing, spoke volumes to me.  Yes, thank you Bill for working so hard.  We all appreciate you!  And wow, they are paying attention.   

Thank you for working at the barn for our family.

We all thank you for working at the barn!

I am going to help some day at the barn with you dad.

that is a really nice thing you do for the horses and our family.

  

Issis

That's what my kids call her....Issis.  She is Aunt Sissy to me.  Has been for 40 years now!  When Kate was a baby, she began trying to talk SO early.  Her first word, "duck", was at 9 months.  She would try so hard to verbalize what she wanted and work with such intent to repeat exactly what we were saying.  She couldn't have been more than a year old when she began referring to my Aunt Sissy as "Issis".  She just got all tangled up in Sissy and that's what she is now!  Not Aunt Issis, just Issis.  Will can go either way with Sissy or Issis.  I don't think she cares much!  They love her and that's all that matters to her. 

She is super special to me.  She is my Dad's big sister.  She is my only aunt who lived near me (like 20 miles!) growing up.  She is such a fixture in almost all of my childhood memories that she's more like a third parent in a way.  She is small, but mighty!  A Southern lady, but strong.  I know exactly who is on the other end of the phone when she calls - even when I'm not the one who answers (l.o.u.d.)!  She is something else.  She has taught me more than she probably realizes.  There are little "happies" all around my house that came from Heidelberg, MS...or Vossburg, MS (depending on where she saw fit to mail it that day!).  I love it.  They remind me of her and of home.  Almost every cookbook I own, especially all the Southern ones or Mississippi ones, are from her.  She sent me a subscription to Mississippi magazine and the Laurel Leader Call (local paper) when I first moved to OK.  I think I only got the paper for about a year ('95-'96), but I still get that magazine and I look forward to it.  She sends me little things made in MS, from the musuem, etc.  She does not want me to forget where I'm from, even though she need not worry.  She taught me how to shell peas and that there should be an UNEVEN number of flowers in a flower arrangement.  I spent many hot afternoons in her garden, "helping" her pick whatever was ready.  We did lots of puzzles together when I'd spend the night and she always had plenty of junk food for me!  Every year, on my birthday, she would take me shopping for clothes at several different places in Laurel then we'd go to lunch at Mr. Gatti's pizza.  Her chicken spaghetti, cornbread dressing, and cheeseball recipes are some of my favorites.  She always cooked for holiday meals with family.  Way back when, we used to gather at her house occaisionally for Christmas dinner, Thanksgiving, etc.  After a while, we ended up mostly at my house and she would drive at least five pots of stuff (I'm skimping on that number) all the way from her house, unload it, serve it, and pack it back up when we were done!  I used to love seeing that Lincoln coming (the only car my Uncle Bill would ever buy for her).  It meant that they had arrived and were bringing that cheese ball and all the other stuff I loved with them.  It always included peas, butterbeans and cornbread.  She still does this.  Every time we drive in from OK...her car is there in my Dad's driveway and you know there's something good on that stove!  Now, not that my Dad's a slouch when we come, providing no meals, but he would agree - she can put together some good stuff!   

That's just a smidge about Issis.  I've got more, but this is a blog not a book.  She has left her mark on me, for sure.  This Christmas she gave us all a big scare.  I received a call that Issis was in the hospital.  It was a heart attack.  They weren't sure how she was doing.  The doctor said he was "guarded" about her situation.  Big lump in my throat.  Not ready for this.  Should I jump on a plane?  Was she going to be okay?  Did I need to go help my Dad?  I wasn't quite sure what to do, but I kept in touch with my Dad (about every hour for a few days) and with prayers answered and one more heart attack later, (that's 2!) she pulled through!  Whew!   It was a long week (or more) but the outcome was exactly what we were hoping for.  My dad did a great job as caretaker.  I think she would agree.  They are brother and sister with the typcial brother/sister relationship, so I was leary of this arrangement.  Turns out, it went really well.  I am proud of both of them!  She is already back in action helping him out this tax season (the 42nd).  Could not be more thankful!  Big reminder to soak up time with loved ones every minute you can.  Can't wait to see all of my South Mississippi folks in a few months.  I'm saving a extra big hug for my Aunt Sissy.  I am more than grateful I have the opportunity to hug her again! 

One of my favorite things in my house.
Haven't found flowers that don't look good in a blue mason jar.

second favorite....yes, that's correct.  It says Milk of Magnesia.
Eat your heart out!  You know it's cute!

Just a little C.I.L.Y. present (cause I love you)...I keep lots of her notes.
Pretty handwriting, huh?

iron skillet from Issis (I think it was her mother's, my Mamaw's??)
and that dish sitting in front of it is hers too!
I think she'd be proud of the way my cornbread turned out.

Love you, Issis!